If there's any budding rock climbers or boulderers out there then you have to check out this new wall.

http://www.alter-rock.co.uk/index.html

This is the link to the website. The bouldering grades are set a little higher than I'm used to but the climbing is spectacular. It's located inside an old church and so the feel and space of the place is sensational. Best wall I have been to as yet. And I intend to go again lots more times!!! Check it out...

I appreciate that it is supposed to be lucky if a bird poos on your head but what about this scenario:

You are standing slightly removed from the back door in your dressing gown minding your own business at 06:45 hours having a cigarette [bad bad mrsbate]; a blackbird flys over your head and lands on the gutter above your head and starts to sing.

Next thing the dirty little bastard aims his aris at you and fires black sticky goo in your direction. Now not having my glasses on made it a bastard to dodge. Cheeky bird I thought. And then the little twat did it again. Aimed right at me I mean. I did not know until today that blackbirds could aim and fire their feathery little bottoms at will.

I think we should all be watching out for them.... they are obviously a bigger threat than we pegged them for; who knows what else they are capable of?

Go Leeds, Go Forest, Go Leeds, Go Forest ....

Leeds play Carlisle in semi-finals of League One play offs, Monday 12 May at Home and then Thursday 15 May away from home. Everything crossed for Super Leeds and a Wembley final on 25 May, I'll be there singing my little heart out. We finished 5th in the League and yes, whilst we would have gotten automatic promotion without the 15 point deduction personally I wouldn't have it any other way. I think we're going back up. I would stake my sunday lunch on it.

And then, what can I say... Super Forest indeed. My crystal ball it worked! Forest won at home to Leyton Orient, Doncaster were beaten away by relegation threatened Cheltenham.... up go Forest back into the championship woo ha. Next season is going to be great.

[For all of you purists out there who say you can't follow two teams, well I'm living proof that you can on an 85/15 loyalty divide]

A new take on a veritable classic piece of literature adapted to suit current affairs.

The Lion = Y
The Bitch = X
The Torture Chamber = XC2 or H (or the bitch multiplied by conscience squared and/or H for Head)

if Y = X(XC2), then you would feel sorry for Y no?
if X = Y - XC2, then what does that leave?

Try and apply logic to an area where there is none and chaos will rain.