My day is filled with giga joules and energy benchmarks. My noodle is stewed and my eyes are failing.

I have 15 utility budgets and targets to set. 15 energy reports to update and validate. Code to write and graphs to make.

I have so far completed 1.5 (or 10%). This makes me feel a little overwhelmed by the enormity of the task and am hereby officially requesting to the powers that be that we stick to the same financial year from here on in. We'll just have a rolling financial year 2008 - Infinity. Sounds like a plan to me.

I guess I am supposed to be cheesed off that I am stuck at work updating 15 lots of gas, electricity and water budgets and then comparing against typical and good practice values; except I'm not.

The sun is almost shining, the drunks outside are singing away, I'm going to lunch in a few moments with a couple of girls from work for a good old bitch, boredom levels are low, iPod undoubtedly helping the flow me thinks. Would recommend working with your headphones glued in. You don't have to listen to anybody babbling on about banal guff, you can't hear your phone ringing which is always a good thing - less work to do, and mood - well stays surprisngly upbeat (163 upbeats per minute if you pick the right genre) - even if one of my contracts appears to be using as much water as London.

Weekend was a lovely affair, filled with birdsong and sunshine. I unchained the kids and let them out of the cellar on Saturday after I had done the garden for a picnic on the lawm. Very nice it was too, anyway had enough of them after a couple of hours and so chained them back up again with some bread and dripping and told them not to make too much noise.

Aside from having my eyes assaulted by previously mentioned fat women in thongs pulled up to their necks at the park on Sunday, my life is sweetness and light.

[just in case you are from the social services I don't really chain my kids up in the cellar, they are in fact tied with soft rope so that it doesn't chafe]

Something has changed and I won't be able to go back to the way it was before. I'm in a period of increased mental awareness and am learning things that can help me better express my unique individuality. As clever as I may be now, I shouldn't fall into the trap of thinking that cool logic is more important than my intuitive feelings.

Something has indeed changed in my life, that something is me. Dexter is now old news, I have feelings simmering away beneath the cucumber cool exterior. Random emotions and feelings that aren't anger or frustration or resentment flash intermittently into my days. It feels good.

Well, well, well. One game to go, everything to play for. As it stands Leeds meet Forest, two fallen giants in the semi-finals of the League One play offs. Bit of a bugger for me as my dirty little secret second team is, you guessed it, Forest.

I fell in love with football watching Brian "If football was meant to be played up in the air, they'd put fucking wings on the ball" Clough's Forest beating Berlin in the European Cup Final in 1981 aged 7. Ahh, takes me back... And so, loyalties sort of divided - although if push came to shove and it may, I will be sceaming my little head of for the might Leeds at Wembley come the day. (MOT).

Another scenario, Doncaster draw or lose away to Cheltenham on Saturday, Forest win at home to Leyton Orient and secure the second automatic promotion spot, Leeds get through in the play offs, beating Doncaster in the final at Wembley and I am doubly happy.

Another scenario, Leeds get their 15 points back (currently hidden in secret chest mentioned in the 'Mystery of the missing 15 points blog), win their last game, Swansea lose theirs, we go up as Champions, vindicated (please insert another word of your choice if not a fan of Leeds [laughs]). Forest go up in the play-offs.

Another scenario :O(
Leeds don't get promoted this season and stay in League One forever, playing Macclesfield Town and Huddersfield at football stadiums with portaloos.

Whatever happens, to finish 6th in the table after a 15 point deduction and losing your management team part way through the season (I refer more to Gus Poyet than Dennis 'Wise'); is nothing short of spectacular - think we are the first team to get such a points deduction and not get relegated. We get 30,000 at Elland Road regularly. Hats of to all the fans and hats off to Garry McCallister and the team. MOT, good luck for the 1st May and I'll be there at Wembley (if we make it). Getting all emotional now, best go off and blow my nose....

Reports are reaching us of a football scandal of 'Thomas Brolin' proportions. A source close to Leeds Utd claims that Mr Ken 'Watch My Lips' Bates has enlisted the assistance of international superhero Captain Scarlet in his efforts to retrieve a chest containing 15 League One Points.

The chest has been housed in the football league offices since August 2007, where it had previously spent time in administration, although it origins could be traced back to Peter 'I Have a Dream' Ridsdale and a group of young bucks on frightening wages and offices full of goldfish!

It is thought that any attempt to capture the chest of points would involve Captain Scarlet impersonating Football League Chairman Brian 'Adolf' Mahwinney and swapping the chest with a doppleganger containing a box of milk tray and a pickled egg!

Captain Scarlet was absent during the training module on appropriate calling cards. However, as this report is likely to blow the whole hustle it seems Leeds United will have to rely on the clever mind control ability of Kenneth Bates (it did work on Vialli but Gullit was more immune! Maybe down to having more hair!).

[With special thanks to Captain Scarlet]

Venus-Pluto square might require that I live out one set of emotions while burying another, it said that a few days ago about me and the other one twelfth of the population of the world. Today it applies, yesterday it applied back then it was merely possibly applicable. Not actual fact.

I'm not suing for the planets being out of alignment, maybe it was a warning shot across the bow; sometime in the not too distant future there will be a crossroads in your life; down one road there is more of the same in varying doses for infinity ad infinitum; down the second road Babylon. The choice is yours Mrs B.

The price for Babylon? I don't yet know, I have just got my wallet out hoping that I have enough.

These numbers will only be familiar to you if you are a Derby County fan. At the beginning of the season, and as a devout and committed Leeds United follower, I have to admit, the tonkings that Derby got were a constant source of mirth and merriment.

News that the Derby goal keeper has been left at this stage of the season needing lifelong therapy and may possibly live out his days having being gender reassigned as a pizza hut waitress called Doris - well it's the stuff that Carry on Films are made of!

It should be wearing off by now, but the Aston Villa tonking them 6 - 0 at home nearly pushed me over the edge, I'm sorry, I'll try to stop laughing now *grins*

I am uplifted today as my ruling planet Jupiter increases my self-esteem, enabling me to feel more positive about my future. This can be a fortunate time as I transform my positive thoughts into concrete reality. But first I must check my facts so I don't get too far off track. I am riding a powerful wave, so keep your wits about you mrsbate or you could find yourself under water.

Am I out of my depth? Do I know what I am doing? How long before this all goes bang bang bang and your ass hits the floor with a resounding thump?

Yes, No, I don't know, apply as required....

Uncontrollable mood swings have overwhelmed me today because the Moon is still in my emotionally sensitive sign. But stability is likely on the way, which will enable me to fully enjoy the weekend ahead. I shouldn't worry if it feels like I've run out of time; apparently I haven't. It's just that I must make a decision about what I want to do next in my life.

Think perhaps the planets were one day out of aligment because that, for me, was yesterday.

I love how spookily close horoscopes can be if you let them into your heart. I wonder if there is any truth in it after all? I quite like the idea that we are governed by which
planet is in which house of your sign or whatever. Cosmic.

Thinking again, I probably have been overwhelmed today, or is that the subliminals jumping from between the lines of my horoscope making me believe that this was all true?? I think I'll go and lay down now.