I have entered a phase where my non-rational thoughts and feelings can float around in my dreams, detached from the specifics of what they mean. Instead of attempting to stuff them back into the rows and columns of linear logic, I should give them permission to wander through the forgotten corners of my mind.

Hey what's new, non-rational thoughts and feelings floating around in my dreams - I hate to break it to them, but they're not on their own, they'll never be lonely, in fact it's probably getting a bit overcrowded in there; what with all of the non-rational stuff going on in my consciousness. I expect they'll have a lot to talk about. But that's before they embark upon a once in a lifetime trip around the 'forgotten corners of my mind'. They're forgotten for a reason. Could be the synopsis for the new Hellraiser movie, I'll let you know.

Mystically
I am looking at new ways to live a more productive life, yet a lack of confidence could get in the way of trying out my plan. Even if someone seems to present an obstacle to my desire for more fluidity and spontaneity, my argument isn't with anyone else now; it's with myself. I should overcome my own resistance and external blockages will dissipate.

Realistically
I am suffering the effects of a weekend of excess and lack the wherewithal to go 50 metres to the shop and buy a low rent sunday tabloid newspaper to amuse myself with. Even if someone presents me with a pair of socks and shoes and a conveyor belt to carry me. I will be visiting the toilet at least 50 times today to overcome my own resistance to internal blockages. My limbs are still aching from the three mile foray into fitness.

That's how I feel on this Friday evening. No other word for it but Farumph. My limbs ache due to running 3 miles last night - why did I do that? The worst is I've volunteered for more TWICE next week - that will be another 6 miles and some more pain in my hamstrings, calves, plus muscles that I did not even know existed or even know the name of.

What you have to do for a pert bottom that resides in the usual location and not behind the old knees ;O)

Good News!! Derby is getting its very own climbing wall. Opening in late April with 20m high aspect roped climbing and 20m bouldering. Three guesses what I will be doing at lunch time every day for the next 6 months....

I must record my latest achievement at the wall: on Wednesday night I managed a V2 first attempt and then did all the moves on a V2/3 - admittedly all the moves weren't done on the same attempt but I did it nonetheless. Next time V2/3 your bouldery ass is mine!!

I know you shouldn't just look at the grades you should climb what you fancy but it's always nice to have a yard stick; even nicer is that I’m not falling off V0- left right and centre and now have the strength of a small bear as opposed to a teddy bear.

The only thing that remains to overcome is my god damn fear of heights - oh the irony.

Dare devil by night, by day she is lowered off a crag having the heebie jeebies at 23 metres imagining all kinds of horrificness, mutilation and death despite the fact I'm tied onto more ropes than Ropey the rope makers wife. Why does this happen and does anybody have any special tunes/mantras/interesting pieces of poetry or prose that I can hum in my head to take my mind off the fact that I am shitting myself?

The seven summits are on my bucket list, if I don't do something to allay the terror; I fear I may have to take up pot holing instead.

Well, that's me checking in and now checking out. Have a good weekend - I know I'm going to!

Allegedly I may be quite sure about what I want to do and very little can stop me from making positive changes to my life now. My optimism can overcome negativity, but I musn't use it to totally avoid the truth.

I should analyse all data that comes to me and not be afraid to apply it diligently to reach my exciting new goals.

Well, I can't wait. New and exciting goals, my life is now complete.

but lights will only guide you home if you're a pilot right?

If I could give advice it would be that. Keep your mouth closed until your brain catches up with your emotions.

Don't do it. That nano second of satisfaction when something escapes your mouth that would have been better never uttered, well it's not worth it.

Do as I say and not what I do.

The thing with treading water is that it doesn't actually get you anywhere (unless of course you count 'alive' in the equation), and if you stop doing it then you sink/drown/die whatever.

Why do we metaphorically tread the water of life and stay content with this? It makes you tired, demotivated, aimless, pointless and empty. (And don't get me on what it does to your hair).

Have a plan, move forward, progress. Open the next chapter of your life, you never know what you're going to get until you do.

Have courage. Be brave. Be a devil. Go on, I dare you.

left my soul
down by the sea
I lost control
I'm living free

Little boxes on the hillside,
Little boxes made of ticky-tacky,
Little boxes on the hillside, Little boxes, all the same.
There's a green one and a pink one and a blue one and a yellow one.
And they're all made out of ticky-tacky And they all look just the same.

And the people in the houses all went to the university,
Where they were put in boxes, and they came out all the same.
And there's doctors and there's lawyers and business executives,
And they're all made out of ticky-tacky and they all look just the same.

And they all play on the golf-course, and drink their Martinis dry,
And they all have pretty children, and the children go to school.
And the children go to summer camp and then to the university, Where they are put in boxes and they come out all the same.

And the boys go into business, and marry, and raise a family,
In boxes made of ticky-tacky, and they all look just the same.

There's a green one and a pink one and a blue one and a yellow one.
And they're all made out of ticky-tacky and they all look just the same.

I HAVE A NEW RELIGION, A NEW SET OF BELIEFS, JOIN ME!!!

1. Do not walk behind me for I may not lead. Do not walk behind me for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either, just fuck off and leave me alone.
2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tyre
3. The darkest hours some just before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbours milk and newspaper, then that's the time to do it.
4. Sex is like air. It only becomes really important when you are not getting any.
5. Don't aspire to be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
6. Remember, no one is listening until you fart.
7. Never forget that you are unique, just like everybody else.
8. Never test the depth of water with both feet.
9. If you think that nobody cares whether you are alive or dead, then try missing a couple of credit card repayments.
10. Before you judge someone you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you judge them, you will be a mile away and you will have their shoes.
11. If at first you don't succeed, avoid skydiving.
12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day and drink beer.
13. Have you ever lent somebody £20 and never seen that person again? It was probably worth it.
14. If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.
15. Some days we are the flies. Some days we are the windscreens.
16. Don't worry. It only seems kinky the first time.
17. Good judgement comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgement.
18. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
19. A closed mouth gathers no feet.
20. There are two theories on how to win an argument with a woman. Neither of them work.
21. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much if your lips are moving.
22. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
23. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
24. When we are born we are naked, wet, hungry and get smacked on the arse. From there on in, life gets worse.
25. The most wasted day of all is the one where we have not laughed.