It's not a good look - why don't they realise this? These fat women assaulting our eyes with all kinds of nastiness??
Why do they have to bend over in front of you with their lacy black g string, hoiked up around their ears with all manner of unspeakable horrors escaping from front, back and sides?
And why do these women hang around in play barns. Meant to be a safe haven for children and adults alike. An innocuous place, fun for all the family - mums get get high on latte's and OK magazine, sons and daughters run themselves ragged, duped by the master plan to get them so tired they will not complain when mum says "time for bed". It's a win win situation.
Until the league of fatties walk in, g-strings exposed and at the ready, reebok classics gleaming in the sunlight, the look completed with a scrunchie in their dyed black or weird shade of red coloured hair. Bending over at will right in front of your eyes (oh my eyes!). Shaking their gargantuan asses at you, shameless!
Then they order 60 chicken nuggets (and that's just for Britney and Chardonnay - their fat offspring - who are also wearing g-strings at ages 7 & 9), 2 litres of coca-cola and a tray of oven chips with garlic mayonnaise, whilst muttering something about "it'll av to do until we get 'ome and get the deep fat fryer out".
They think chips are part of your 5-a-day!
Anyhow, I want to say to all the fat women out there. Just say No! Enough is enough. Go to Marks and Spencers and buy some big pants and some trousers that fit you. Stop assaulting the eyes of the nation, exposing them to the horrors of what lies beneath ones trousers.
For god's sake, fat women in thongs should be arrested as they are outraging public decency. People have been convicted and sent to prison for far less.
It ain't just y'all on that side of the Pond! We've got our own non-telegenic tubbies in thongs running around in the States. Someone told America's overweight women that "muffin tops" are sexy. That someone LIED!